Special Times

I'm not the type of person that will say I should be number one.  But at this time in my life, I want to make sure that the activities I do, are things I enjoy.  And I find it very important to make my time valuable.  I've made it priority to spend meaningful time with my kids.  We've gone to one of my favorite coffee shops and multiple Notre Dame games.  I took a trip out to spend time with Jared and Jenn and their family.  We had good conversation and time together.  

But the most recent trip I took was by myself.  I got to hide away at an Inn at a state park and release some intense emotions.  It was incredibly hard and I felt all the hurt and pain and darkness that I think one could handle.  And it is still there, at the surface...just waiting for the next trigger to let it out.  It's hard, but it's real.  I look at the pictures I post and see that I smile in all of them.  But we all know that isn't how I am 24/7.  No human being is.  I'm slowly learning that part of the beauty of being human is the emotions and story we carry.  But right now, emotions are intense and my story is so real and I'm trying to find any beauty out of it that I can.