A Church Experience...

The kids and I had church today.  Today is a Saturday.  And no, we didn't sit through a service.  We served.  To me, church isn't a noun.  It isn't a building or religious institution that you claim to be a part of.  Church is a verb.  That is what I want to teach my kids.  Church involves acts of service, not just a place that holds a service.  Church involves conversations that lead to deep discussions, not a place to go and be told what to think.  Church is an action.  Now, before I go any further, let me just make it clear that I'm not against churches.  But in my life, Church doesn't always take place on Sunday mornings.  And I don't feel guilty about that.  I don't want my relationship with God to be based on guilt.  I can't imagine the God that I love, wanting me to be somewhere at any time in my life, when my heart isn't in it and I'm just going through the motions.  The God I love wants me to be real with him.  I don't pretend to be the "good" Christian here.  I'm a real Christian...I'm a human that struggles and asks hard questions about God and my faith.  And I'm okay with that.  I don't need to fit in and I don't want my kids' faith to be based on what their peer group is doing at certain times.  I want them to have depth.  I want them to see that Church is an action.  I don't desire for them to pick a religion and stand on one side of a line.  I desire for them to choose God and live that out however that may look in their life, as long as it is real.

So today, we served...  And today, church was exciting and meaningful to me, Grace, and Tyler!

We met with a large group of people at 9 am.  We grabbed boxes, decorated them, and filled them with food.  The whole process was so organized and everyone, young and old, felt helpful.  After all the boxes were filled, we picked a place in our town where one of the trucks was going.  We met them there and helped unload.  We got to see the people that it served.  We got to hear more about the service it provides.  We got to be a part of something good.  I'm so happy we got to experience it together!

The kids and I have planned a dinner out where we will brainstorm what we are passionate about and find ways to serve in those capacities.  And I'm excited about the relationships that will form through our times of service.

My life right now...

 As a single mom, I've quickly learned that I have a lot to learn!  My brother got the kids energy kits for Christmas that generate energy using wind and sun.  That means the engineer part of my brain had to get to work.  We might have had to take some pieces a part at first because they were in the wrong spots, but only a few :)  And in the end, we built the windmill that will recharge batteries.  There are a lot more items to build, but I would call this a success!  And I actually enjoyed learning the mechanics.  Best of all, Tyler had I had a great time together!

Next thing to learn...how to change a tire!  I don't want to be one of those women on the side of the road waiting for help. :)

Tyler got invited to play club basketball, so on Sundays, you will find me sitting in the stands and cheering him on!  Honest moment...It's hard for me to sit at a game and not yell things.  Now, anyone who knows me, knows I'm not yelling out curse words :)  But I just get in the game!  I can't help it.  I love being at a sporting event, surrounded by fans, and cheering for a team!  There's just something fun about being a part of that atmosphere!  So, I really do my best to not be "that" mom that embarrasses her kids.  Maybe it would be good to have friends come with me and keep me calm and balanced.

 I've enjoyed both my alone time and my time with friends.  I'm learning about the relationships in my life and what I want them to look like.

And of course I get some amazing pictures of my sweet niece and nephew that bring smiles to my life!

Being alone...

I'm alone, and I'm really okay.  I feel like people view the words "alone" and "lonely" as the same thing.  The fact is, they aren't the same.  I'm not lonely.  My time with my kids is more meaningful.  In fact, I feel like all the relationships that are forming in my life are deeper and more loving than what I've experienced before.  And I'm not talking about romantic relationships.  Do I want to be single the rest of my life?  No, not at all.  But that is not something I'm ready for right now.  I need this time for myself.  I'm talking about my friendships.  New and old friends have come beside me and I feel how much they care about me.  It's because of these relationships that I'm not lonely.  I am loved.  People care about me.  I'm a social person.  I need relationships in my life.  I always have.  I have always been drawn to different people and enjoy making new connections.  This is still a big part of who I am.  I just now have more of an opportunity to act on it.  And when I get the chance to have alone time, I enjoy it.  I can just be.  And I appreciate it.

Welcoming the New Year!

I'm 36 years old and just now getting to know who I am, what I enjoy, and who I am becoming.  That seems pretty weird to me, but it doesn't take away from the experience.  I've faced challenges like most everyone else, but I haven't lost trust in people.  I'm meeting new people and learning more about myself because of it.  I'm finding a voice to speak up on how I feel and what I think.  I'm looking forward to 2016 and what it brings, what I get to experience, and the relationships that will form.

Part of my New Year celebration, was enjoying some alone time.  I got to spend time at one of my favorite local places, read, relax, and process where I've been and where I am now.  It led to tears and excitement all at the same time...if that even makes sense.  I'm most thankful for my kids and for the encouraging and loving relationships that have gotten me through the tough times.  

Murder Mystery Party...

I got to experience my first Murder Mystery Party on New Year's Eve!  It was so much fun!!!  I can't even begin to describe how hard I laughed and how much I enjoyed myself!  Jon and Brandie were incredible hosts and the group was very welcoming.  It was an Ugly Christmas Sweater party and we all had characters that we had to play.  And everyone went all out!  It really was a great way to ring in the new year!

Our Christmas Time

I thought for a long time what this first sentence should be.  How can I sum it all up in a few sentences?  How can I write something that doesn't sound like my life is all sunshine and rainbows but still show the importance of my time with my kids?  The thing is, my old blog made my life seem perfectly happy.  And part of that is because I wished it was.  Maybe it was something I created so I could read it and feel good about my life.  My life is different now and I am different.  So, I'm changing the way I write.  Because my life is changing.  I want this blog to reflect me.  The real me.  Gracie and Ty are most important to me...always have been...always will be!  And even though my life isn't always easy, my time with Grace and Tyler was perfect!